Monday, December 05, 2005 :
Tell me sho..if u do-sigh- im feeling sho moody. hmmm, i've been tinking abt one particular qns for de past few days. shld i continue to fall for tat sumone? haha~ i rmb HuiMin daoshi once told me tat, wen we liked sumone or sumting, dere muz b a reason for it. if we claims tat we juz like tat sumting(or wadever) w/o a reason, de feeling of liking ish fake de. & Charlie alwaes tell me de same ting over n over again.." No, dere muz b a reason de ". sho wad dey sae ish true horx? aiyahx, wadever it ish..i tink i'll choose to let it go ba. becuz given my present condition, i dun tink i can handle it. *hey..i still got 3 tings yet to start or achieve horx.* cant tink of a reason to fall for tat sumone, though he falls rather "nicely" into my category. y mk myself feeling sho miserable wen i can only drm abt it n never taking place in de real life? xiang tai duo de huo guo lahx.. suan le ba. -sigh- i tink it wuld b better to let it go now, than to wait until i fall too hard to let it/him go. yesh, im not going to hold on to it le. im out of de game.

hmmm.. mayb im feeling scared ba? really scared. i have phobia of stepping into a new relationship. becuz, im scared de person ish not true to me n will dump me for wadever reasons he can tink of. im not de type of gurl hu can easily fall for sumbody n jump out of it once its over. im not de gurl whom u tink can fool ard. im sumone hu tk's everyting seriously. im sumone hu ish committed into wadever tings i do. *dun u agree sho? hmmm* i dun want to mk myself feel miserable. n even if i cant get out of it now, i'll choose hide it.
God has alr arrange one very gd one for me. sho i shall drop wadever drms i have for tat sumone. mayb he ain't de one got has arranged for me?
-- pls dun do aniting tat mk me fall for u again. i dun like to play dan lian. though u've been a nice fren..n u've bot much joy into my life, etc. but i need time to first settle down on tings i've set for myself. de rest will wait, i guess?
But tell me sho..if u ever feel de same wae juz like how i feel for u.